Hey mtv my name is Dan and welcome to my crib
adult: wow teen is frowning !!! must have attitude !!!!! moody !!!!!!
my parents split after they made me. i am a volcano. they are tectonic plates. follow for more geological humour.
i really hope the two people who just followed me aren’t looking for geological humour or you are going to be earth-shatteringly disappointed
this post is one of my best by a landslide
when ur on ur phone in chemistry and ur teacher walks over and asks what ur doing and ur just like
are there even any houses in the usa which touch each other???
like in britain some houses are terraced or semi-detached
but in america they’re like “dON’t tOUch mE!”
I HAVE ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT BRITISH NEIGHBORHOODS LOOKED LIKE. THANK YOU.
Isn’t that like a major fire code violation? Like if one house catches on fire, POOF there goes the whole fucking street up in flames.
we never learn
when u haven’t masturbated in ages and
damn imma stop masturbating for a while so i can grow cannons on my back and launch torrents of water at people
lets fuck in an art gallery
i mean you deserve to be pinned up against a wall
you are a masterpiece